How To Stop Being Shy
Would you like to stop being lonely or nervous in public? Are you ready to learn how to stop being shy? Do you really want to make shyness in front of girls, guys, strangers, or being shy at the school a thing of the past? Then check out this short introduction to this common human state of mind.
There are lots of people who are extremely shy, including actors and actresses, so you are not alone, but like they have done, you can stop or significantly manage it. Typically a shy person is uncomfortable being around people he or she is not familiar with. Most of the time, in a room full of strangers, a shy person often looks for a corner or spot in the room where he or she can remain by their self, away from the crowd. Often time, once the individual warms up and begins to feel comfortable with others, he or she opens up, and become a really fun person to be with. Next thing you know, you start to talk , and before you know it, the folks around you in the room forget about how shy you had been when you first came in.
The biggest mistake common among people who are shy is that they let their emotions get in the way and control them. Nearly all shy people seem to have experience this common phenomena
How you can quickly tell if your emotions are in control:
- If you tend to avoid people who make you feel shy, or
- If you tend to avoid public speaking because it makes you feel nervous or anxious, or
- If you don’t do something that involves communicating with others, girls or guys, just because it makes you feel like you have butterflies in your stomach.
In order to overcome your shyness, you have to prevent being controlled by your emotions when you meet people. This doesn’t mean to you have to suppress your emotions, but that you can carry on whatever you need to do or perform in spite of them. Mark Twain once said that “Courage is not the absence of fear. It is acting in spite of it.”
It is this ability that you need to develop, if you want to learn how to stop being shy around your crush for example, or around the opposite sex at the school. You have to develop the ability to act in spite of feeling certain emotions. By developing this capability or state of mind, it then allows you to do something anyway, even if you feel afraid to do it. You become able to “Act in spite of fear”.
How you can quickly tell that your emotions are no longer in control:
- When you can raise your hand in class even though it makes you nervous, you are acting in spite of fear.
- When you can talk to people without butterflies in your belly, even though they make you feel shy, then you are no longer being controlled by your emotions.
- When you can talk to groups and make public presentations without fear or trepidation, then you are the one in charge, not your fear or emotions.
Once you start acting in spite of fear, and your emotions are no longer in control, you will feel increasingly more relaxed and easygoing in situations which used to make you afraid, nervous or shy. When you can control your emotions and stop avoiding your fears, you allow your mind to desensitize to them. This is also called “habituation” in Clinical Psychology.
Psychologists and therapists often adopt this approach with their clients who experience shyness or social anxiety. In cognitive-behavioral therapy, acting in spite of fear is the “behavioral” component. As we all know, many shy people have not developed the cognitive ability to simply “face their fears.” The cognitive part of cognitive-behavioral therapy requires that we change our way of thinking.
If you want to learn more about proven strategies and techniques for how to stop being shy that go far beyond facing your fears and controlling your emotions, then click to check out Sean Cooper’s ebook on How To Overcome Shyness. For some additional background information, you can also check out this article on Wikipedia.